Conundrums in Crime

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Volume 4.

“Chivalry is dead “

Hello I’m your host, Rowan, welcome to Conundrums in Crime vol.4. I hope you

like this real life crime story. So without further ado, here it is: Everyone has

preferences on being chivalrous . This man’s version is very ... unusual.

Nevertheless it is considered chivalrous to open the door for a stranger. On a

normal Saturday in New Haven, Joshua Murray (the committer of this crime) was

politely opening the door of a Dollar Store for two ladies, when the ladies did not

say “thank you”, he was enraged and whipped out a pistol and pointed it at them.

Apparently no one ever told him that anger is not appropriate and shooting people

kinda undoes any kind act. When the cops arrived, they found out that Murray did

not have a license for the gun. He tried to resist the arrest but nevertheless, he

was charged with a felony for the lack of a license and received a misdemeanour

charge for interfering with arrest and two counts of breaching the peace ( not

brandishing a gun? oh America!). He was fined $25,000, I guess being polite does

pay off!

I hope that you liked this story (that is 100% real).

 

 

 

Volume 3.

“The Best of Christmas”

Hello I’m your host, Rowan, welcome to Conundrums in Crime vol 3. This time I’m

going to write the top 4 Christmas crime stories, enjoy!!!

1. Santa Claus, Reindeer, Presents and Weed:

A man by the name of Randy Lange age 57, claimed he was “ Santa Claus”

walked in to a local Buffalo Wild Wings with two pounds of marijauna and started

giving it out to customers as stocking stuffers. Later, he was arrested while

stuffing a holiday portion into the tip jar.

2. A Jolly 2x4 in the Face:

In the jolly land of Atlanta, a mall-Santa claimed a 74 year old woman stole $145 of

Hersey’s Chocolate from him. In retaliation he smashed her in the head with a

2X4, rendering her unconscious and landing himself on the naughty list for good!

He was arrested later and never compensated for the said stolen chocolate.

3. Santa...?

One snowy Christmas night in Wisconsin, a local family was woken by a drunk

Santa Clause stumbling through the family’s back yard. Despite his costume and

belly the kids were not fooled! “We knew it wasn’t Santa Clause cause he

smelled like alcohol! and Santa doesn’t drink alcohol.” They kids claimed. The

family called the police and the jolly pretender was taken in for questioning, milk

and cookies.

4. A gift from the Heart....Attack

On a snowy Christmas Eve in Jacksonville, a desperate Christmas shopper faked

 

a heart attack in a Walmart, creating a large distraction. Meanwhile, a not-so-

sneaky accomplice sprinted out of the Walmart with a cart bursting with toys. The

 

“very cunning” pair denied everything, even when they were shown the recorded

footage of their Christmas Caper.

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Volume 2.

“Selfie obsessed!!! “

Hello I’m your host, Rowan, welcome to Conundrums in Crime vol.2. I hope you

like this real life crime story. So without further ado, here it is:

Recently in 2016, a man named Donald Pugh (AKA “Chip”) was suspected of

vandalism, (probably spray-painting inappropriate genitals on a wall) so a warrant

was sent out for his arrest. Turns out the police needed help, so the police of

Lima, Ohio shared his mug shot on their Facebook page.

Donald obviously is kind of obsessed with his look because he didn’t think the

photo captured his “best side”. He then proceeded to text a more “flattering”

selfie to the POLICE DEPARTMENT!!!!! Saying, “Hear is a better photo; that one is

terrible”

Still upset Donald called a radio station to justify his actions.

Saying “Man, they just did me wrong. They put a picture out that made me look

like I was a Thundercat or James Brown on the run, I can’t do that”.

The police, still having trouble catching Donald, were delighted with his help and

later arrested him in Florida.

Hope you enjoyed this story I have got lots more coming and yes this is a real

story.:>

​

Volume 1.

Hello I’m your host, Rowan, welcome to Conundrums in Crime vol.1. I hope you

like this real life crime story. So without further ado, here it is:

In 2015, a 24 year old dude from Maine, USA by the name of Christopher Wallace

decides “oh yes, it’s a wonderful day to steal some cooking supplies.”and so he

does. Chris obviously isn’t the smartest guy, so he gets spotted by the cops quite

easily. After having successfully evaded police for weeks (somehow?), he got

bored. Chris decided “Well this is not as exhilarating as I thought it would be, so I

 

might as well have some fun.”Chris posts a picture of himself in his house-

ONLINE! Obviously one of his followers ratted him out to the cops. The police

 

were eager to catch the criminal so they searched his house, but he was no where

to be found! It turns out he was in the house after all (great job police!)hiding

somewhere in the kitchen. Chris (bored again) takes another picture of himself,

this time in the cabinet he is hiding in. The police (after another hint) were

delighted to find him right where is said he was. He was arrested on the spot, and

many spatulas and whisks were returned to the store. I guess the real question

here is who was more stupid: the robber or the cops? THE END